Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize