i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
accomplished twins. life is a go
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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