God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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