Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My balls are so social today.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
