You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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