what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
