She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
