your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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