Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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