He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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