I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
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You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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