My pussy is not your playground.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
