Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize