She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
