apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
