I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You're like the curious george of whores
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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