This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
