new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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