i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
