I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize