Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
