She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
