Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
