dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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