does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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