they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
