i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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