so explain again why im purple
no
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
