So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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