Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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