she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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