I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
