I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize