i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
