There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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