you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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