Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
