I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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