I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
