I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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