Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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