Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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