Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
