Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
