so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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