You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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