how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
