her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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