My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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