And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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