I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
