Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
