remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
