What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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