It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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