I met the friendliest cop last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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