Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
